Bingo, GRAB, Religion, Publix: HERE COMES A BEAUX RANT!

Hey, this is a free country, and so I’m now going to take the time to exercise my freedom of speech. Here. We. GO!

Personally, I think Alabama needs to make a short stop and take a breather to recollect its head, what with all this gambling and bingo business.

Now, I know the first thing someone reading this blog might want to say in retaliation is that I’m somehow related to one of the Great Bingo Crime Bosses and therefore am biased. Thanks for making that accusation, by the way- it gives me a chance to burn your biscuits.

My own opinion is that gambling is distasteful and fairly vulgar; money can be much better invested in other pursuits that are more worthy and stable.

However, this is the United States of America, and in our great nation, contrary to all the rabble-rousing that the media puts out, we’re fairly free to do what we want to do with our time and money, provided we have either. There are reasonable limits to this- that is, everyone is (ideally) afforded the same freedoms, rights, and liberties, but one’s own liberty ends where another’s begins; we have no right to infringe on the rights of others, in other words. That’s the essential purpose of the government (again, ideally), to step in and call the shots when someone’s rights are being trampled on.

Now, I would like to inform Alabama specifically about a few things: we do have some excellent food here, but folks, we already don’t have a WHOLE LOT going for us. Most people in the USA don’t think very highly of Alabama, and we have little that we can hold up high and proud- the most boastful statement any of us can make is that we’re not from Mississippi, which is rated as The Worst State Ever.

To bring this to my point, creating a ruckus with the arguments over the legality of bingo and making up conspiracies about how the supporters were bribed and creating a pig circus trial costs the people of Alabama time, money, and effort that they don’t necesssarily have in addition to bringing down our image in the rest of the USA.

Alabama, in the strictly physical sense, is quite beautiful, and anyone who lives here who has seen that kind of beauty understands what I mean. Our temperate climate allows us to enjoy both summer and winter, and even though we complain about the heat and the cold, we’re not dealing with Sahara desert temperatures or icy Russian winters.We have a great deal of farms where staple crops are grown and where one can see how people interact one-to-one with livestock. These are all remarkable things about the state, and again, I point to the amazing cooking we have.

But GOOD GRIEF at the people! Sometimes I wonder if there’s a machine set up in Georgia or Florida that just sucks the common sense right out of Alabama’s borders.

Instead of creating crazy trials and conspiracies and all that jazz, why not just set up a motion for the people of the state to vote on the legality of bingo if such a question has come up? That’s the common sense thing to do.

But I guess common sense must also be illegal.

And of course, you have the Baptist rabble-rousers backing the so-called moral virtues in the midst of it. Now, that’s not an attack on every Baptist, as I know some great ones, of course, and I’m sure more than a few of them are fairly supportive of bingo, but I have a feeling that the same faction of people who raised hell about the Hooters restaurant coming to Dothan are related to the bingo situation.

Because God knows that a restaurant with large-bosomed women serving food is what Christ really would have us worry about.

And the reason I know it’s largely the Baptists is because you can recognize a Baptist preacher’s voice; they all preach the same way. Also, the Catholics and Episcopalians most likely don’t care about bingo as a legal issue; it’s just not that serious or morally damaging to anyone, especially since they often hold bingo tournaments in their fellowship halls.

I’ve also been meaning to say something else while we’re going after the religious dimension of this: it seems that the major “sin” of concern in this day and age is “lust.” Sexuality, in whatever form, is The Worst Thing You Can Do. What I find humorous is that the other Capital Sins, such as Pride, Greed, Gluttony, and Envy, are never addressed.

But when the entire culture’s fabric is woven out of Greed, Gluttony, and Envy, I suppose that would make the people pointing it out hypocrites. Being married for 30 years and no longer finding one’s wife attractive gives license to condemn the sexual escapades of others, though, so the condemnation of Lust is actually a form of Envy.

Sloth is another Capital Sin, but people still condemn laziness, largely because laziness doesn’t Feed Greed.

Anyway, what one ultimately realizes is the sheer absurdity of so much in life, whether on the political front or the religious front. The only really common sense thing to do is rant, rave, and then LAUGH as hard as you can about it.

If you don’t like the game, don’t play it. This is not a difficult concept.

I should also point out that the latest news has shown that the former Governor who initiated the Great Redneck Alabamian Bingo-witch-hunt (GRAB) has himself apparently been taking bribes from other people to stop the New Bingo folks.

Oops, he got caught! One thing to say to that:

Now, how to relate this blog to food?

The Great Publix Adventure is likely going to involve the pastry cups again, and I’m probably going to fill them with ricotta cheese, basil, and tomatos to make a kind of mini-pizza. Doris Roberts inspired this recipe by detailing her own “stuffed meatloaf” recipe that features ricotta cheese and basil stuffed in the middle. Basil and tomato also go well together.

Also, last night I discovered that grape jelly goes well with fried okra. Who would’ve guessed?

Someone also told me to try Reese’s cups with bacon bits on it. I may just give it a shot, or maybe I’ll make something like S’mores by meltin chocolate and mixing it with peanut butter and bacon bits. Who knows? The possibilities are endless.

So go seize the day, and if you don’t wanna play bingo, DON’T!

Beaux